So long for now

One of the great joys in my life was going to Parkers Prairie, Mn every summer and most winters. It was always with great anticipation that we made those last 25 miles after Alexandria. Sometimes I would doze off to try and make the trip seem shorter, because the anxiousness was too much for a boy to handle. Yet, I always managed to be awake when we rounded the final bend of Mn-29, just in time to catch the growing expanse of Lake Adley. How I love that lake, waves licking air, glistening in the sun. I can picture it now with clarity that is hard to fathom. It is like it’s on the other side of a great chasm that I cannot cross. I can see it for its beauty, but cannot be there for time is too large a span to be crossed.

Parker's Prairie was right after that lake. We would pull into my Grandparent's small driveway. An old red tractor, a couple sheds, an old aqua blue fishing boats, piles of firewood, and an old picnic table filled the yard. Usually towels and linens would be hanging from a couple clothe lines. Behind those, we would often find my grandparents working in their garden. I remember running to them, trying to be the first to feel their love.

My grandfather passed away 8 years ago, a few months after the picture above was taken. My family flew out for the funeral. My grandmother was never the same. Since then, there was always some distance in her eyes. It was as if she was looking over that same great chasm that I see now, when I look for my grandparents.

Earlier this week, she found her way across. She spent her last weeks in a great deal of pain, unable even speak in her final days. The last time she spoke she asked one of her nurses if she was a Christian. The nurse then asked her and she answered, "Oh, yes, I love the Lord." After that, she could not muster any more strength to talk. In her final days, my aunt played a tape that my Grandfather had made of himself singing hymns. When my mom called, to tell me the news, she said that "Grandpa sang her into heaven."

As I write this, my family is getting ready to go to the funeral home. So much of me wants to be there. So much of me wants to see that town that I love so much. Yet, it wouldn't be the same. I yearn for the life and the love that once resided there. What I yearn for is on the other side of that chasm that I still cannot cross. Yet I can see it clearly: two young figures standing in a garden, smiling with those familiar eyes.

You....Shot...ME!

Read this and laugh

Bathroom Nazi

I don't ask for much in life. I'm a pretty simple guy. I don't get too fussy about things. Up until I moved to St. Louie, alls I really wanted was a beautiful woman, 20s rolled on command, and all change returned to me rounded to the nearest 64. Things have changed though.

I crave and covet creature comforts that I once took for granted. One such comfort is being able to stand in front of a urinal without stepping in a puddle of the drippsies. Every day I ask myself, "ARE WE FREAKING KIDS!?" I don't understand it. Urinals are made to be stood over. Our man-bodies are meant to pee on, pee over, and pee beyond any object we see fit. Yet strangely, in this life, many master only the "pee on" stage. I mean, seriously, our man-parts are meant for precision as well. That is why we don't have to sit on a target just to hit it. We can stand from some distance and complete our desired objectives. With all these skills, why then did someone persistently pee on my floor, for the last 5 months?

Last weekend, I finally had enough and wrote up a nice sign requesting that the urine flow where it ought to go. Problem solved, or so I thought. Now instead of standing over the urinal, they are just sprinkling the toilet seat. Why do they always think they can slip by the seat without leaving a trail. It rarely works! I guess I just need to write another sign or just lay down another protective layer of paper.

Jello

See that Clock there, the one on the tree? That is how I feel most mornings. I am not really trying to complain, since that is what generally goes on in these types of things. It's just lately I have found myself draped over my desk in my early morning classes. It is not even that I am that tired. Most mornings I afeel okay once I get up. My back just generally doesn't want to hold my body together if I don't get enough sleep. It is a strange feeling. I know this isn't that cool of a post, but it is that time of the month were I realize I haven't posted for about a month. But don't worry. I have an idea for tomorrow. Hopefully I'll remember. Would anyone like to email me to remind me to post?

Cause we bad boys fo' life

I did one for Thor too.

If I could be an animal, I'd probably be a tree Kangaroo

Once again, I have not blogged much as of late. I guess I really don't have much to say...because I don't have much of a life. I think that is why I feel like I would enjoy being a tree kangaroo. Here is this kangaroo is sitting in his tree in the middle of Borneo and BAM, out of nowhere comes some hairless dude that he has never seen before and he wants to rub his belly. Now that is cool. I want my life to be like that. I am sitting in complete isolation. I just want see something new...and...well...maybe get a belly rub out of it too.

No, Seriously Guys, I think somebody shaved this cat.

Mel

That's how I learned

Enjoyable

Yhrric

Derkus never lets me shoot arrows

This is great

I want it!

I'm so tired, I feel like this cat

Ducks

So we have this fountain in the middle of our campus. Every year a hand full of ducks stop in to say hello. Sometimes they are wood ducks, sometimes mallards. Usually one of the mallards stays and decided to have her clutch next to the fountain. Over the last few months I have seen these animals go from small chicks to full blown ducks. A couple weeks ago the mom took off and just the three duckling have been swimming around the fountain. So I started to wonder, How do ducks learn how to fly?

Your normal bird begins in a tree. It either is coaxed out of the nest by its mother, or takes the jump on its own and sees what its wings can do. It either flys or dies. A duck, on the other hand, begins on the ground. Apparently the parent doesn't stick around for any lessons. So how does she learn how to fly? Its getting colder, and the young ducks are just swimming around the concrete lake oblivious to what's coming. Every time I walk by I try to imagine what is going to happen. Is a flock going to fly above them and give them a couple of quacks to let them know they should give it a try? Does someone need to scare the crap out of them to get them to try out their wings? Are they just ingrained with the knowledge that they are flyers? I'm not sure.

Emperor finds a job

The Emperor Finds A Job | Send To Friends | Funny Pictures at JibJab

There be some crazy stuff goin' on

So, first off. I got this letter from my mom. As most of you know, my dad teaches 3rd and 4th grade. One of his students got a couple of kittens the other day. She named them both after my dad, one Rodney, the other Torreson. Unfortunately she gave Torreson away to her friend, so she can't just yell my dad's full name when she is going to feed them.

The second funny thing comes from a letter from my Aunt. My grandmother is in the Alzimer's unit of a nursing home. I guess she was in some woman's room the other day and that woman just started yelling at my Grandma for no reason. So my Grandma decided to leave. She took the woman's walker and started down the hall. When the woman realized what was going on, she took off running after my Grandma saying, "Give me back my walker. I need that!"

Now that's tallent

Any which way but loose

So I can understand people being upset about the kangaroo having to box a real person. I don't want some man beating up on a poor kangaroo. I also understand the bear. It probably had to be treated pretty badly in order to train it to hang onto those rings, even though he looks pretty awesome doing it. What I don't understand is the chimp. All animal activists, note this: Never use chimps for your poster primate. It doesn't work. I feel bad for the other animals and then I look at that chimp and he looks darn proud. Look at him! He looks ready to bring home the gold. Chances are, that was the only picture of him that they could publish because he was probably smiling in the other ones. Stupid activists. Learn your lessons. The chimp is not on your side!

mmmm....Yummy!

I went to go and make myself some tea yesterday and found that my travel mug was curiously heavy. I opened it up to find some of the above nasties floating all up ins. I have cleaned some pretty nasty stuff out of containers but this was bad. I dumped out the contents, at least the stuff that hadn't turned to sludge yet. I put it under the faucet and cranked the hot water.
BAD IDEA! I was able to keep the sludge from flying out, but the extremely hot water was enough to vaporize and shoot a hot steam bullet of bacteria funk right up my nostrils. I think my lungs collapsed for a good twenty seconds or so. And while I haven't died yet, I just thought I would give you the heads up just in case.