Any which way but loose

So I can understand people being upset about the kangaroo having to box a real person. I don't want some man beating up on a poor kangaroo. I also understand the bear. It probably had to be treated pretty badly in order to train it to hang onto those rings, even though he looks pretty awesome doing it. What I don't understand is the chimp. All animal activists, note this: Never use chimps for your poster primate. It doesn't work. I feel bad for the other animals and then I look at that chimp and he looks darn proud. Look at him! He looks ready to bring home the gold. Chances are, that was the only picture of him that they could publish because he was probably smiling in the other ones. Stupid activists. Learn your lessons. The chimp is not on your side!

mmmm....Yummy!

I went to go and make myself some tea yesterday and found that my travel mug was curiously heavy. I opened it up to find some of the above nasties floating all up ins. I have cleaned some pretty nasty stuff out of containers but this was bad. I dumped out the contents, at least the stuff that hadn't turned to sludge yet. I put it under the faucet and cranked the hot water.
BAD IDEA! I was able to keep the sludge from flying out, but the extremely hot water was enough to vaporize and shoot a hot steam bullet of bacteria funk right up my nostrils. I think my lungs collapsed for a good twenty seconds or so. And while I haven't died yet, I just thought I would give you the heads up just in case.

Ask a Ninja

With this post, I here by callange the Hairy one, El shedoro, to return to the bloggosphere and comment on this post! Go ask a ninja!

This is for Ugly kid

Underrants

Ever been so tired that you start putting on a second pair of underwear?
Lift leg. Lift other leg. Pull. Lift leg. What?!?!? I need sleep, so bad.

I'm drunk on Panda Mystery

Why Mr. Calvin...How avant-garde?

Well, here I am trying to read 200 some pages about John Calvin, in one night, due to the laxness of proactness. The book I am reading is by John T. McNeeeeil, entitled "The History and Character of Calvinism." If I was Stemshul, I would probably just have put down the title of this book and wrote, "Read It!" and left it at that. However, since I am not the "Protector of Pheesh's hamburger Hole," I will leave you with a little more flavor to savor.

Overall, the book is well done enough for a solid meaty core of hard biographical fact, with enough peculiarly humorous juices to allow the bulky meal to slide on down. Since I can't stretch this metaphor any further, and probably should have stopped earlier, here is what I really wanted to share.

Calvin's father had been accused of some..Ahem, dubious book keeping. In his disputing with Bishop, he was, I quote: "criticized for his modern ways and for daring to wear a beard[!]"

Where does he get those smokes?

Which Lost Character Are You?

You Are Sawyer. You're a realist, not an idealist. Sarcasm, wit, and leers run rampant whenever you are around. Whether it's making a racist remark or shooting a polar bear, you're sure to leave a lasting impression on those around you. Add a cigarette and some beard stubble, and the formula for redneck charm is complete.
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Um....A little crazy?

All I want to know is what is going on with these crazys. If you haven't heard, the Pope read from some debate between a Byzantine Emperor and a Persian Muslim. In this document, the Christian emperor asserted that Mohammed had brought nothing new to religion other than the concept of Jihad, which he called "unreasonable." He also said that this innovation of Mohammed's was "evil and inhuman."

Now what should be a reasonable response to this allegation? Going on the news and demanding an apology would be fine. Even taking to the streets in a peaceful protest would be fine. I understand these types of reaction. When my religion is slandered and defamed in the media, and by many leaders from around the world, I wish people would get a little more upset about it and maybe protest or demand apologies. I can understand the these desires to defend one's most sacred beliefs. What I don't understand is throwing all reason out the window in doing so.

Does it make sense to react to an accusation of violence by committing violence. Five churches were set on fire today and shot up. I don't know if anybody has been hurt or killed yet in this barbaric rampage, but it has happened many times before in the Gaza strip. As I said, I understand them being upset, but I don't think they are helping their cause by proving the allegations against them as correct.

Nice

So I guess this really wise man decided that for his 50th birthday he was going to parachute out of his plane more times than anyone else in a 24 hr period. Can you guess how many times he jumped out? 640!!! I imagine it went something like this. About 18 hrs. into it, he was at 490 and thought, "well, if the rule still applies at such numbers, over the time I have left, I might just make 640." And he did.

So that's what's really wrong with me?

Now I know that it is really heard to narrow it down to one thing. I mean, if someone were to ask you what was wrong with ol' ikyam, you would probably say, "where do I start?" Well in my explanation, I'll start here.

Every year we are supposed to have a couple interviews with our campus counciler. He is in charge of making sure that we are well rounded and that none of our personality traits are dominant to the point where it could detrimental to our ministries. (I know what you're thinking, "Bad news for Ikyam.") At the beginning of last year we had to take a hand full of personality tests to help determine what is wrong with...ahem...what we need to work on.

Within the quarter I was supposed to meet with Dr. Schoper to talk over our areas in need of improvement, and, well, it took me about 6 months to get back with him on that one. I actually had a really good time. He was struck with awe about how open and I guess self reflecting I was. I had pretty much figured out what he was going to tell me in advanced, which was kinda fun. I had him laughing, crying, and a few times he even yelled out while laughing: "YOU HATE ME, DON'T YOU?"

Anyways, I guess what I am trying to get at is that he wanted me to get tested for ADD. I was pretty happy with this because I had hope that he would give me the referral so I could get a discount on the test. Well, I went for the preliminary test today. We went over a list together on the criteria for ADD. There was a notation above the list saying that if one exhibits that tendencies of just 12 of the 25 criteria, they are chronically ADD. At first I was afraid that I would fill enough of them and they wouldn't know why I had such a difficult time concentrating. Much to my surprise, I met all 25!

wow

You know, I just can't understand this culture. It used to be that one took care of those things of necessity before taking care of things of frivolity. For instance, in the old days, people would make sure they had decent transportation before buying a $2000 Television. Now I am not really sure if the TV was exactly $2000 dollars or not, but I am sure it is close, as people make weird desicions when they have hair on the brain. Alls I'm sayin' is that I feel better about buying a $35 dvd set when I sould be buying school books.

MMM... taste good...in my brain

yup, I bought it.