Cause we bad boys fo' life

I did one for Thor too.

If I could be an animal, I'd probably be a tree Kangaroo

Once again, I have not blogged much as of late. I guess I really don't have much to say...because I don't have much of a life. I think that is why I feel like I would enjoy being a tree kangaroo. Here is this kangaroo is sitting in his tree in the middle of Borneo and BAM, out of nowhere comes some hairless dude that he has never seen before and he wants to rub his belly. Now that is cool. I want my life to be like that. I am sitting in complete isolation. I just want see something new...and...well...maybe get a belly rub out of it too.

No, Seriously Guys, I think somebody shaved this cat.

Mel

That's how I learned

Enjoyable

Yhrric

Derkus never lets me shoot arrows

This is great

I want it!

I'm so tired, I feel like this cat

Ducks

So we have this fountain in the middle of our campus. Every year a hand full of ducks stop in to say hello. Sometimes they are wood ducks, sometimes mallards. Usually one of the mallards stays and decided to have her clutch next to the fountain. Over the last few months I have seen these animals go from small chicks to full blown ducks. A couple weeks ago the mom took off and just the three duckling have been swimming around the fountain. So I started to wonder, How do ducks learn how to fly?

Your normal bird begins in a tree. It either is coaxed out of the nest by its mother, or takes the jump on its own and sees what its wings can do. It either flys or dies. A duck, on the other hand, begins on the ground. Apparently the parent doesn't stick around for any lessons. So how does she learn how to fly? Its getting colder, and the young ducks are just swimming around the concrete lake oblivious to what's coming. Every time I walk by I try to imagine what is going to happen. Is a flock going to fly above them and give them a couple of quacks to let them know they should give it a try? Does someone need to scare the crap out of them to get them to try out their wings? Are they just ingrained with the knowledge that they are flyers? I'm not sure.

Emperor finds a job

The Emperor Finds A Job | Send To Friends | Funny Pictures at JibJab

There be some crazy stuff goin' on

So, first off. I got this letter from my mom. As most of you know, my dad teaches 3rd and 4th grade. One of his students got a couple of kittens the other day. She named them both after my dad, one Rodney, the other Torreson. Unfortunately she gave Torreson away to her friend, so she can't just yell my dad's full name when she is going to feed them.

The second funny thing comes from a letter from my Aunt. My grandmother is in the Alzimer's unit of a nursing home. I guess she was in some woman's room the other day and that woman just started yelling at my Grandma for no reason. So my Grandma decided to leave. She took the woman's walker and started down the hall. When the woman realized what was going on, she took off running after my Grandma saying, "Give me back my walker. I need that!"

Now that's tallent

Any which way but loose

So I can understand people being upset about the kangaroo having to box a real person. I don't want some man beating up on a poor kangaroo. I also understand the bear. It probably had to be treated pretty badly in order to train it to hang onto those rings, even though he looks pretty awesome doing it. What I don't understand is the chimp. All animal activists, note this: Never use chimps for your poster primate. It doesn't work. I feel bad for the other animals and then I look at that chimp and he looks darn proud. Look at him! He looks ready to bring home the gold. Chances are, that was the only picture of him that they could publish because he was probably smiling in the other ones. Stupid activists. Learn your lessons. The chimp is not on your side!

mmmm....Yummy!

I went to go and make myself some tea yesterday and found that my travel mug was curiously heavy. I opened it up to find some of the above nasties floating all up ins. I have cleaned some pretty nasty stuff out of containers but this was bad. I dumped out the contents, at least the stuff that hadn't turned to sludge yet. I put it under the faucet and cranked the hot water.
BAD IDEA! I was able to keep the sludge from flying out, but the extremely hot water was enough to vaporize and shoot a hot steam bullet of bacteria funk right up my nostrils. I think my lungs collapsed for a good twenty seconds or so. And while I haven't died yet, I just thought I would give you the heads up just in case.

Ask a Ninja

With this post, I here by callange the Hairy one, El shedoro, to return to the bloggosphere and comment on this post! Go ask a ninja!

This is for Ugly kid

Underrants

Ever been so tired that you start putting on a second pair of underwear?
Lift leg. Lift other leg. Pull. Lift leg. What?!?!? I need sleep, so bad.

I'm drunk on Panda Mystery

Why Mr. Calvin...How avant-garde?

Well, here I am trying to read 200 some pages about John Calvin, in one night, due to the laxness of proactness. The book I am reading is by John T. McNeeeeil, entitled "The History and Character of Calvinism." If I was Stemshul, I would probably just have put down the title of this book and wrote, "Read It!" and left it at that. However, since I am not the "Protector of Pheesh's hamburger Hole," I will leave you with a little more flavor to savor.

Overall, the book is well done enough for a solid meaty core of hard biographical fact, with enough peculiarly humorous juices to allow the bulky meal to slide on down. Since I can't stretch this metaphor any further, and probably should have stopped earlier, here is what I really wanted to share.

Calvin's father had been accused of some..Ahem, dubious book keeping. In his disputing with Bishop, he was, I quote: "criticized for his modern ways and for daring to wear a beard[!]"

Where does he get those smokes?

Which Lost Character Are You?

You Are Sawyer. You're a realist, not an idealist. Sarcasm, wit, and leers run rampant whenever you are around. Whether it's making a racist remark or shooting a polar bear, you're sure to leave a lasting impression on those around you. Add a cigarette and some beard stubble, and the formula for redneck charm is complete.
Take this quiz!








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Um....A little crazy?

All I want to know is what is going on with these crazys. If you haven't heard, the Pope read from some debate between a Byzantine Emperor and a Persian Muslim. In this document, the Christian emperor asserted that Mohammed had brought nothing new to religion other than the concept of Jihad, which he called "unreasonable." He also said that this innovation of Mohammed's was "evil and inhuman."

Now what should be a reasonable response to this allegation? Going on the news and demanding an apology would be fine. Even taking to the streets in a peaceful protest would be fine. I understand these types of reaction. When my religion is slandered and defamed in the media, and by many leaders from around the world, I wish people would get a little more upset about it and maybe protest or demand apologies. I can understand the these desires to defend one's most sacred beliefs. What I don't understand is throwing all reason out the window in doing so.

Does it make sense to react to an accusation of violence by committing violence. Five churches were set on fire today and shot up. I don't know if anybody has been hurt or killed yet in this barbaric rampage, but it has happened many times before in the Gaza strip. As I said, I understand them being upset, but I don't think they are helping their cause by proving the allegations against them as correct.

Nice

So I guess this really wise man decided that for his 50th birthday he was going to parachute out of his plane more times than anyone else in a 24 hr period. Can you guess how many times he jumped out? 640!!! I imagine it went something like this. About 18 hrs. into it, he was at 490 and thought, "well, if the rule still applies at such numbers, over the time I have left, I might just make 640." And he did.

So that's what's really wrong with me?

Now I know that it is really heard to narrow it down to one thing. I mean, if someone were to ask you what was wrong with ol' ikyam, you would probably say, "where do I start?" Well in my explanation, I'll start here.

Every year we are supposed to have a couple interviews with our campus counciler. He is in charge of making sure that we are well rounded and that none of our personality traits are dominant to the point where it could detrimental to our ministries. (I know what you're thinking, "Bad news for Ikyam.") At the beginning of last year we had to take a hand full of personality tests to help determine what is wrong with...ahem...what we need to work on.

Within the quarter I was supposed to meet with Dr. Schoper to talk over our areas in need of improvement, and, well, it took me about 6 months to get back with him on that one. I actually had a really good time. He was struck with awe about how open and I guess self reflecting I was. I had pretty much figured out what he was going to tell me in advanced, which was kinda fun. I had him laughing, crying, and a few times he even yelled out while laughing: "YOU HATE ME, DON'T YOU?"

Anyways, I guess what I am trying to get at is that he wanted me to get tested for ADD. I was pretty happy with this because I had hope that he would give me the referral so I could get a discount on the test. Well, I went for the preliminary test today. We went over a list together on the criteria for ADD. There was a notation above the list saying that if one exhibits that tendencies of just 12 of the 25 criteria, they are chronically ADD. At first I was afraid that I would fill enough of them and they wouldn't know why I had such a difficult time concentrating. Much to my surprise, I met all 25!

wow

You know, I just can't understand this culture. It used to be that one took care of those things of necessity before taking care of things of frivolity. For instance, in the old days, people would make sure they had decent transportation before buying a $2000 Television. Now I am not really sure if the TV was exactly $2000 dollars or not, but I am sure it is close, as people make weird desicions when they have hair on the brain. Alls I'm sayin' is that I feel better about buying a $35 dvd set when I sould be buying school books.

MMM... taste good...in my brain

yup, I bought it.

I'll be back...I am going to take my dog for a carry.

You know, thats a nice looking lady. She looks good, trim fit...even smart. Why smart you ask? Well, it is not because tricked her dog into thinking he is wareing a girdle of flying (because we all know there is no such thing, though I don't know if he's caught on yet.) No, No, looking at this picture I would say this woman is smart because she has a smile on her face, the type of smile one wares because any attempt to change it would bring laughter. When even the paid model can't hide that she thinks something is rediculous, you know something is wrong. But we all know people will buy them. They might as well. Owners of toy dogs can't seem to ever put them down anyways. I just feel bad for the boy dogs.

I know I shouldn't. I know it isn't right. But you know, I really like this guy at times. I mean...just...just...look at him! Looking all sly. He is in the middle of being tried for war crimes and he makes statements like, "I think the U.S. will re-install me as president soon." That is excellent, and if this picture wasn't taken when he said it, I give major props to Matt Drudge for putting them together. Ah, they go so well togeather. I don't know what it is. Saddam's smile did nothing for me when he had a bare chin, but now... I guess it just goes to show you why men rule the world. It has nothing to do with physical strength, or any mental aptitude. I think it just comes down to facial hair. Everyone knows that a mustache makes the dictator. No one is going to mess with a man with a mustach. Hitler had one. Stalin had one. If they just would have switched to beards, the world might have been a better place. Who knows, if hillary could grow a beard like saddam, I would probably vote for her.

Ted Tired. Ted go home now.

Well, I am pretty much done, and the things that I don't have done...well...I'm just not gonna do right now. I have spent the last two days packing and moving most of my stuff to another dorm room one building over. Why would I do such a thing? Don't ask that question, stupid! The answer is obvious. I have spent two days moving all my stuff just so that I can move it back in three months. No one will be staying in my room while I am gone. They just want me out. Either way, I wouldn't care all that much if I didn't have chronic back problems that could flare up at any moment. To make matters worse, kicking up all this dust, and with whatever the heck is going on outside, I have had the worse alergy attack since the night shedu and crazymom met. I think I will shortly overdose on my meds again and lay down and reminice about that night. At least I will get the sleep I need. Oh yeah, The reason that I was posting was to tell ya'll I am coming home, and will be home for the whole summer, so dust off your your neil caps and rold's folds signs.

HASSELHOFF!

Cult Icon Hasselhoff You are Hasselhoff, the Cult Icon. You revel in your enigmatic and confusing popularity – moreso in the positive aspects of it than the confusing or unclear parts. You are the shining star of the world: more specifically, of Germany. Someday, you will be featured in a ticker-tape parade. Someday! Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

How They guessed the eggplant, I will never know

Your Birthdate: May 19

You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested. You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them. Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others. You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself. Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence Your weakness: Suspicion of others Your power color: Eggplant Your power symbol: Spade Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

By the way, It was yestereday you big jerks!

My Ted Asplode

There is something invigorating and all together terrible about the close of another semester. For instance, I wrote a five page sermon last night and today, "read" 500 pages between a couple of books, and wrote a 5 page paper on them. Oh yeah, I also learned about 100 or so Hebrew words this morning before I took my quiz. I hurt, In the Brain

Does this mean he is not working for 64 tacos anymore?

I love crazy pick up lines.

Hello, beautiful. Haven't seen you around before...and I would definitely remember. Aside from the Buffalo wings, you're the hottest thing in here. I noticed you're all alone. Mind if I sit down? Too late, I'm already on the stool. Anyway, I know you're dying for me to buy you a drink and show you my money clip, but before I do, let's chat a bit.

There, I said it.

I am sorry about that last post. It was really a box of dead kittens.

Why? I don't know

The Man

Long ago...and far away, Tiffin and Cat lady got married. We all know that part. But not every one knows what came before. I was best man, so I had to go pick up my tux at Woodland. Since I am Ted, and have to use every restroom that I come within 30 feet of, I decided to go use the restroom while I waited. While I was takin' care of buisness, the doors opened and some one entered the stall next to me. Soon I heard the distinct thunderous voice of and angry African-American Male. He kept on yelling "Stop playing wiht the door!" (his kids were repeatedly messing with the handicap button.) So while I am washing my hands, These two young boys start talking to me. They were being nice and just asking questions, so I just talked to them while I was combing my hair(Ah...Hair...The good old days) All of a sudden, the dad starts yelling from the stall again, "Stop talking to me, I'm trying to crap!" I decided to take my leave and went for the paper towels.
His kids replyed, "we're not talkin' to you."
Dad: "You're not? Who you talkin' to then?"
Kids: "The Man."
Dad: "What Man? What he look like?"
Kids: "White."
Dad: "Damit, I warned you about the man. Never talk to The Man! He opress you if he get a chance!"
The kids turned to me as I was leaving and said in a friendly voice: "Dady says we can't talk to you cause you the man."
There went my hope for the future.

It was so bad, I swear God must have thought Tiffen and Cat lady were eating with me

There is just something wrong with our caffeteria. Today I went in for dinner and there were tables set up with hot-pans keeping food warm. Usually this might be a good sign. Nope..not today. They decided all they could do was warm up the worst of the week so that they could devote the entire kitchen to preparing a stinkin wedding meal. So I ate some green beans and carots that I had dished up before I fully realiazed the full extent of the crappiness of the food. The sticking meat was all fat. Seriously. You could pull out the barbecue rost beef and it was a glissning white throught 90% of it. So I ate my vegies because I knew nothing good to come from bringing my tray to the kitchen when I was that upset. Of course I was right. Not only did they feed us the worst food possible, the best food possible was around the corner, where we usually get our food.
VISION BLURRING>>>>TEMPERATURE RISING>>>(breath, Ted. Breath.) That was close. Just thinking about it almost sent my computer out the window.
So I went to Jack in the box. I sat infront of the stupid drivethrough speaker for ten minutes. TEN MINUTES! I don't ask for much. I just want someone to say something when I am waiting at a drive through. Does it take much to tell me your running behind. Explain to me. I am willing to listen. Just don't leave me sitting there without even acknowleging me! I left and went to Taco bell. Sure they use that spanish talk and you can't understand anything, but at least they say Hi.

I am not sure....

I had a hard time sleeping after a night of doing a whole lot of nothing, so I thought I would try to read a little of Tiffin's literary adaptation of the Yrrhec and Dog game. I got tired and decided I better get to bed before 1:00. Some time later, I got up and finished the rest of the story(Good job by the way). Well, Now it is 2:37 in the morning, and I realize I need something. I guess I have noticed it for a while. I need more friends, blogging friends that is. Too often I find myself feeling all bored. Either, I am in too much pain to concentrait on my homework, or I am actually feeling good and the last thing I want to do is spend that precious normalness on schoolwork.
So I sit here. I check the Drudgereport for something new. I look on my science and religious sites. I check homestar. Look at all the blogs. I watch Bernie Mac.(I am really starting to love that show). Yet, I stand unfulfilled. I can finish looking through the headlines within a half and hour. If there is something new on the Blogs, I can get through that very quickly. Yet, inbetween the tv shows I watch, I keep checking the net. I need more friends. I need more Blogs to look at. I know this isn't adressing the real problem. I don't even know what the real problem is. All I know is that I so desperatly want to be entertained.

Revisited

Man, that one guy really let himself go

More

If I could chose a sidekick

I knew he was after me! He is like Scott Irin and shit!

Ted's creature-nemesis:

The Dreaded JACK BAUER

'What creature will become your nemesis?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Happy Easter

Dear Friends,

If you have known me for a while, you know that I am not the type of person to try and force my faith on you every time we meet. Yet, in fear of offending you and turning you away, I know that I did not share it enough. However you choose to take this today, I feel as if I must share this with you.

I write this to you today to share the joy that I have in Christ Jesus. Many of you know that I did not always hold to this. In many cases, I was the worst among us, and in many ways, I am sure I still am. I am not writing to condemn you. I am not telling you to be good, live better lives. I am not saying that you need a better past. You do not need to look the same as everyone or act the same. You just need to know. I want you to know that Christ Jesus died for you. So that you could be pure, so the past could be forgotten, so you might never have fear death. This is attested to by his fulfillment of over 300 prophecies concerning his life and death. This is attested to by twelve fishermen, from the middle of nowhere, who changed the world with the message of Christ. The evidence is there, but I am not here to try to convince you with intellectual argument, but merely tell you, He is risen. My Friends, may God bless you on this Easter day with the joy and knowledge of Christ Jesus



Isaiah 25
6 On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare
a feast of rich food for all peoples,
a banquet of aged wine—
the best of meats and the finest of wines.
7 On this mountain he will destroy
the shroud that enfolds all peoples,
the sheet that covers all nations;
8 he will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears
from all faces;
he will remove the disgrace of his people
from all the earth.
The LORD has spoken.
9 In that day they will say,
"Surely this is our God;
we trusted in him, and he saved us.
This is the LORD, we trusted in him;
let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation."

Big Goose, Little Pond

The other weekend when my dad and sister was in town, we went out for chinese after church. When we pulled in the parking lot, there were a couple of women standing in the middle of my path. They saw us comming and moved out of the way to reveal the goose that was out enjoying the sunny day. He just stood there, ankle deep in his own little pond. We came somewhat close to him, but he must have felt protected since he was "in the water." he never moved.

A big one

People in England have actually hired two snippers to take out a giant rabit that is eating their vegetables. I really do not have much to say on this. I just thought it was great.

I should have listened to the Larry Lesson!!!

My Dad had a poetry reading in southern Indiana on Saturday, and He and my sister drove to STL to see me afterwards. Today, we decided to go to the zoo. It was sunny and 74 degrees. Great zoo day. We saw a whole bunch of lazy, sunbathing, animals. About 4:30, it started cooling off a little as the sun went behind the clouds. At this point, my dad was getting tired. We decided that we would hit the Bird House and then leave. It took us about ten minutes to get to the bird house. My sister had to use the restroom when we got there, so Dad and I waited another 10 minutes for her to walk their and back. Finally we got to go into the bird house. We were in there for about 10 minutes when the lady started yealling that the zoo was closing. As we left, She said we should hurry because a thunderstorm was commin' in.

We step outside, it's a lot darker and looks like it might rain. The temperature drops about 15 degrees in 10 minutes. Every minute we walk, the lightning bolts exponentialy increased. In the three minutes it takes to get to the front gate, we see 70-80 lightning bolts. We get through the gate and we're moving with this great mass of people.(It's like the "war of the worlds" and shit!) I see this stupid man as tall as Kato, with a kid on his shoulders. I make a joke to my dad that if we stay approximately 40 feet away from him, they would attract any bolt, but we would be out of the "range of effect." I feel one drop of rain and the wind suddenly picking up. I fear a possible trampling, so quickly lead my family across the road to the sidewalk were no is walking. This happens in the first minute, outside of the gates.

Once across the road, we power-walk up the hill, without anyone slowing us down. Within 10 seconds of being across the street, the wind immediatly started blowing even more. Dad is moving pretty quickly now. As the wind picks up further, Dad starts to jog. I smile and shake my head. Then, I looked up and notice that, right above us, there was a cloud expanding in all directions. I am intreaged for a moment. THEN I realize, we are walking into a pretty feirce wind, and THIS CLOUD IS ADVANCING BEYOND US, AGAINST THE WIND! This happens a minute and a half, outside the gates.

I take to Dad's cue and start to jog. I yell, "Come on Tasha, we got to go!" She stands there, just staring. Humor never escaping me in any situation, I yell as I run past her, "One of us has to survive! I'll give Mother your love!" That gets her attention. She follows. We run no more than 50 feet and this Great Wind rushes in; Tree brances are flying through the air; Marble sized hail starts peltin us. Widd-eyed, Dad turns around; I see his mouth move, but all I hear is wind; He is asking where my car is. I point it out, I unlock the doors, and jump in. Tasha and Dad are pounding on the doors, shaking the car back and forth. Stupid Hyundai's automatic door locks arn't working. I unlock the doors; They jump in. I realize that it wasn't them shaking the car!
This is two minutes outside the gates.

"DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!" Tasha and Dad are yelling. "I SAW IT ROTATING AND IT WAS COMMING DOWN! I floor it and wip out of my tight parking spot. The hail is now D-20 sized! I can literally see individual white gusts of wind 4 feet long. I wip a right, over the overpass and get almost to the other side. Someone is trying to cross the street and Traffic is backed up. I honk and my dad and sister are yelling at the drivers in front of us. I yell back to them. "KEEP YOUR EYES BEHIND US! WE MIGHT NEED TO GET OUT OF THE CAR AND GO UNDER THE OVERPASS!" This is 20 seconds since being in the car.

Finally the stupid lady moves. I drive like a mad man. The excitement is unbearable. I enjoy it emencelly. There is no time for fear, just action. I doge branches and trash cans blowing across the road. I notice that I had slipped into a mantra, wispering' Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me." Dad and Tasha follow suit. I yell out orders, "LOOK TO THE RIGHT. LET ME KNOW IF IT IS COMMING!" Barely able to see, I zigzag through horibly laid out intersections. I get stuck trying to make a left at Clayton. Traffic is pretty tight. I fly out and quickly merge, then duck down the street to the sem. My dad asks where we are going. I say the chapel basement.
This takes three minutes.

As I park the car, Dad yells, "DON"T WORRY ABOUT LOCKING THE DOORS, JUST RUN!"
He gets out and books over the muddy hill. Knowing my bad back, I run along side of the hill and cut over at the last second. Dad is in the church. I look back and Tasha is a ways back, covered in mud. I yell for her to come. She runs past me and into the chapel. My dad looks around and sees all the glass windows and yells, "WHERE ARE THE STAIRS! WHERE ARE THE STAIRS!" I point and he and tasha run down.

My buddy Andy had just come up from the stairs. I cleaned my glasses and filled him in. He was about to go outside and see what was happening. He told me the tv had said that there had been tornados all over town, but the storm was quickly moving to the north east, away from the sem. We looked outside, and it had greatly calmed down in the 10 seconds I had been inside.

We ended up okay. A tornado had formed above us, but it never touched ground.
My sister, covered in mud, and my dad, had burt into the basement where the symphony members were gathered after their Bach Concert. They told them the story, and everyone stayed in the basement for another 25 minutes. If I would have been covered in mud, and with dad and tasha when they ran downstairs, I would have yelled, "DID WE MISS IT? DID WE MISS THE CONCERT?"

"Well I know it will be alright, if I just get on the road. If I run I can free my troubled mind."

Life has been tough the last couple weeks. The back has been bad, got 3 papers and 4 tests within 4 days, I announced two people were dead at church and they really wern't. So then yesterday, the pebbles came back again for round 2. I will spare you the details just in case Kato is eating a sandwich. Anyways, had the pebbles in the morning. I went to the Depot to get a paint filter, captured about 40 rock babys to bring into the doc, went to class, then went to get my blood tested. When I got back, I realized that I they kept my doctor's information.

I tryed calling the blood guys today and they lost the info and could only tell me he was on Watson street. So after class today, I decided to go looking for the doctors office. All I had was the name of the street and a handful of other streets that I might have taken there the first time I went. I left at 3:30 and chose to go down Manchester. I drove about 3 miles until I realized that the office wasn't on Manchester, but off of Hampton. Instead of asking directions, I decided that I could find it myself. I drove for another 15-20 minutes and explored the suburbs of south Stl. I finnaly found Watson and headed south. I drove for another 15 minutes till I saw a Kohls.

I stoped and bought a tie and a shirt for 7 bucks. I asked the clerk if she knew where a Home Depot was. I told her that I was looking for a doctor's office that was near a big building, possibly a Depot. She asked me what the building looked like and I told her I had no idea of the building's description, name, nor any information on the Doctor's. All I knew was that I had something to drop off at a Doctor who was inside a building on Watson, and that building was somewhere near a bigger building and a fastfood place. (Just for the record, Watson is longer than 28th street.)

So she gave me direction to a Depot. I drove another 6 miles south on Watson, came to the Depot and realized that non of those buildings contained my doctor. So I turned around and went the other way. I passed the street that I turned from and kept my eye open for a big building. I started looking for a walmart and a Burger King. After about 30 different big buildings, I came across a Target and a Mc Donalds. I thought I must be near. I drove another 10 blocks until I noticed that the street name had changed. So I doubled back and found the stupid L shaped intersection that screwed me up.

I was looking for one of those large mirrod-glass buildings. After coming to the end of the street, I realized that It must have been the big Brown brick building that I had passed 10 mins earlier. So I turned around and got there 5 mins to close. I gave them my rock babies and was about to leave, when I though maybe I should get their card so I could find my way back the next time.

Noe one would think that such a long drive would have been horrible, but it was the most fun that I have had in weeks. It felt like I had just got my driver's licence. I din't know what the heck was going on. It took me 2 hrs to make a 10 min trip. I got to listen to Van Morrison's days like this and Coldplay's a rush to the head. It was 74 degrees out and sunny. After all that, I didn't even care that I had rock babies the day before.

I took something from him every time we met!

For some reason this got in my head today. Since Old Kato is right about me not posting too often. I thought I would give you something real authentic.

One day when I was working at Wards, I was trying to sell a television set to this couple. As I was talking to them. They allowed their child to run up and down my isles with his hands on my sign tracks, separateing, knocking off, my 4 peices of signery that was designated to each item. When he came near me, I would stop talking to the parents and tell the kid to please not do that because I had to straiten them afterwards. He looked at me and raised up his little jiggly puff toy and shook it in my face, then scowled.

Some days you just give up on the principle of the thing and just go with the flow. So, I rearanged all my signs, while I was helping the couple. Again, the kid came down and messed up one row of my signs. I said, "hey" really loud and asked him not to do it. The mom finally looked up and said the kids name....Once! After that, he proceeded to mess up the rest of my signs, all the while twirling his little Jiggly Puff around his head in a little victory dance.

I don't remember if the people bought the TV or not. With the way life was there, they probably didn't. Soon after they left, I went back to straighten my signs. I noticed something pink on the ground. It was that stupid little kid's Jiggly Puff. I snached it and threw it behind the counter. About 15 mins later, the kid comes back. I was done with my signs and was pretending to straighten up things behind the counter. I look up and He is standing there, calm as can be. (It took a little sorrow to mellow out his @$$ I guess.) He looks up with tear filled eyes and says "Say mister, have you seen a Jiggly Poof toy around here?" I reached my hand under the counter, palmed the "Poof," and held it close to me behind my back, just so I could feel victory a little closer. I said to him, "Son, I don't believe I know what a Jiggly Poof is..."
He iterupted, "It's my favorite toy. It's pink..."
I interupted, "Never Saw It!"

There is a lesson here. Be a good parent and your kid's favorite "Jiggly Poof" won't end up hanging as a trophy in some salesman's basement.

A new one!

Well, not an actual "New One" new one, but he's been stained with easy cheese enough to be close. It is Tiffen. He is the new add of the wee....whatever. He is the new add.

Sometimes it seems like everyone's against you

I want one that would go to taco bell with me

journey

Well, I am leaving this dirty town. It will be a hard Journey, but I am ready to go home.

Stringed

Pebbles

I woke up this morning and felt a little strange. I didn't get much sleep last night, so I did not think to much of it. I stumbled around and got the things I needed to bring down to the restroom for a shower. At that moment I decided I had to pee.

Now at the urinal, I proceeded and soon was under the impression that, although it looked like liquid, I was actually peeing molton magma. No big deal I thought. Must be a little dehidrated. With that thought in my head, all of a sudden I realized the flow had stoped but I still felt as if I was urinating. My God, something was blocking the passage way. I didn't have enough pressure to get it through. I realized I had a prostate infection and was once again experiencing the worst of it.

After drinking 64oz of water, and 35 minutes later, I was finally able to push the pebbles though. Another 49oz oz of water, and 4 hours later, I now feel violated and drained.

Ha! I should have thought of this long ago.

:-? I tried making that face. It didn't work

Hello, this is my giant link. It goes nowhere. It just appeared when I started typing.

I just thought that I would post a little heads up for y'all. I am going to be home sometime next weeekend. I am going to shoot for friday the 17th, but I since I have at least 10 papers to write before then, as well as a few take home exams, I might have to wait till Saturday or Sunday. Either way, I will be home until the 4th.

I like ta.!?!?!?the link is gone. What mystery? os

This one was fun

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 85% Iron Man 85% Spider-Man 80% Superman 80% The Flash 70% Hulk 70% Catwoman 60% Supergirl 55% Wonder Woman 50% Robin 45% Batman 45%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Go ahead, Take it! You don't even have to role it up.

Today, I thought I would tell you guys about one of the classes I am taking. It might seem a little arduous to follow along, as the subject matter is a little complicated, and I probably will not do it justice, but if you do, there will be a treat for you at the end ouf your literary journey.

One of the classes that I am taking is "Biblical Hermeneutics." Hermeneutics is "the study of the principles of interpretation." More plainly put, it is less of a "how too" theory as it is a "this is actually what one does when he interpret a text" theory.

According to my professor, there are three ways to interpret a text. The first is Level One interpretation. Here the reader interprets the individual signifiers "words" within its context, while matrixing it with other occourrence of the signifier in order to reveal the meaning in that partucuar use of the signifier.

The second level of interpretation happens when one interprets the deeds evoked by the signifiers in the story. An example my instructor used was Christ walking on the water. This deed indicates that Christ was more than an ordinary human being.

A third level of interpretation deals with reconstructing the aspects of the author from reading how he goes about writing and what he focusses on. An example of this would be people thinking that Luke was a physician because he focused his account of the Gospel more on Chist's healing ministry than the other Gospel writters. Another example would be the idea that Matthew's intended audience was the people of Judea. Scholars think this is the case because he focuses more on fulfilled prophcies, of the Old Testament, than any other author. Though exceedingly more complicated, this is the gist of hermeneutics.

Well, here is where the fun comes in. My Prof, Dr. Jim Voelz, is one of the most intelligent and articulate people I have met. Reading his book is like reading the most difficult of philosophy in both vocabulary and breadth of sentences. When returning to the subject of Level 2 interpretation, he repeatedly stressed the importance of recognizing when someone is doing this and learning to do it correctly yourself. In doing so, he said this "I want you all to come away from this class with one thing. I am hoping to equip all the students in this class with the Vorperal Sword of Level 2 interpretation."

That's right, my seminary Prof said Vorpearal sword. Needless to say, it took me a few days before I could concentrate in the class. Everytime he started to talk, I envisioned him behind a Dm screen and I would start daydreaming about DND.

The add of the week

I realized a week or so ago that I never added anyone else's blogs in my links. So, I will weekly add a new person to my blog until everyone is up.

This week's addition is the goodeargirl, the rest of you might know her as stmarys7. Why did I choose to call her goodeargirl you ask? If you didn't know, Stmarys7 is an ear aficionado. I mean, she ranked that bad boy above and gave it a good score. I tried other names such as "protector of Pheesh's hamburger hole" but all of them were too long or had bad connotations.

So, congratulations goodeargirl you are the add of the week

I love NES

I don't know what I did with life, until this moment

In memory of Cy, my favorite kitten

In the words of Don Mclean "The world was never meant for one as beautiful as you."




picture found here

I feel like I can talk about it now

Smelly hotels+migraine=bad

Smelly hotels+Migraine+"The Son of the Mask"=Unbearable

Babypopper

Due to crazymom's touching post, I decided to help her in her endeavor to feel normal.
Crazymom, congratulations! You have just been added to my links. The masses who check my blog daily, hoping against hope that I chose to post, will now find you. Your the best CM, the best.

Can you smell it? I still can.

Last night I was hit with a horrible migraine while driving back to St. Louis. It was one of the few times in my life where I actually had to pull off the road from fear of death. I stopped at an Arbys that was connected to a gas station. I could barely stand long enough to wait for my sandwich. After realizing that everybody in the resterant was looking at me funny, probably because I was about to pass out, I decided to go to my car. After I stumbled to the Hundai, I looked up and everyone was staring out the window with worried looks on their faces. I ended up moving my car to the back of the building, slammed a Rockstar and took an Alive.

After reclining in my car for 4o mins, I felt a little better and decided to drive. A few minutes later I was feeling sick again. I drove another 15 miles and stopped in Springfield at the first hotel I could find. I was hoping to find a Motel 6, because of their low rates and clean rooms. Instead I found an Econolodge. It was the same price that I saw on the Motel 6 signs. I figured same price same quality right?

After drooling at the counter for what seemed to be an eternity, the receptionist gave me my key. I went to the car, got the one bag I needed and went inside and around the corner. A think wind of what smelled like Sweat and Curry seasoning almost knocked me over when I turned the corner to the rooms. Strangely, I couldn't smell it when I was at the desk.

When I got to the room. It smelled fine, at first. I collapsed on the bed, after inspecting it closely. While laying there, I kept on getting this whiff of B.O. I smelled myself...Clean. I smelled the bed...Downy fresh. It was like the walls were cupcaking me. I went to take a piss, and the fan in the restroom wasn't working. I kept on hearing a weird sound coming from the vent. Weird smells were whafting from it.

The rest is just to terrible to say....