So long for now

One of the great joys in my life was going to Parkers Prairie, Mn every summer and most winters. It was always with great anticipation that we made those last 25 miles after Alexandria. Sometimes I would doze off to try and make the trip seem shorter, because the anxiousness was too much for a boy to handle. Yet, I always managed to be awake when we rounded the final bend of Mn-29, just in time to catch the growing expanse of Lake Adley. How I love that lake, waves licking air, glistening in the sun. I can picture it now with clarity that is hard to fathom. It is like it’s on the other side of a great chasm that I cannot cross. I can see it for its beauty, but cannot be there for time is too large a span to be crossed.

Parker's Prairie was right after that lake. We would pull into my Grandparent's small driveway. An old red tractor, a couple sheds, an old aqua blue fishing boats, piles of firewood, and an old picnic table filled the yard. Usually towels and linens would be hanging from a couple clothe lines. Behind those, we would often find my grandparents working in their garden. I remember running to them, trying to be the first to feel their love.

My grandfather passed away 8 years ago, a few months after the picture above was taken. My family flew out for the funeral. My grandmother was never the same. Since then, there was always some distance in her eyes. It was as if she was looking over that same great chasm that I see now, when I look for my grandparents.

Earlier this week, she found her way across. She spent her last weeks in a great deal of pain, unable even speak in her final days. The last time she spoke she asked one of her nurses if she was a Christian. The nurse then asked her and she answered, "Oh, yes, I love the Lord." After that, she could not muster any more strength to talk. In her final days, my aunt played a tape that my Grandfather had made of himself singing hymns. When my mom called, to tell me the news, she said that "Grandpa sang her into heaven."

As I write this, my family is getting ready to go to the funeral home. So much of me wants to be there. So much of me wants to see that town that I love so much. Yet, it wouldn't be the same. I yearn for the life and the love that once resided there. What I yearn for is on the other side of that chasm that I still cannot cross. Yet I can see it clearly: two young figures standing in a garden, smiling with those familiar eyes.