I'll be back...I am going to take my dog for a carry.

You know, thats a nice looking lady. She looks good, trim fit...even smart. Why smart you ask? Well, it is not because tricked her dog into thinking he is wareing a girdle of flying (because we all know there is no such thing, though I don't know if he's caught on yet.) No, No, looking at this picture I would say this woman is smart because she has a smile on her face, the type of smile one wares because any attempt to change it would bring laughter. When even the paid model can't hide that she thinks something is rediculous, you know something is wrong. But we all know people will buy them. They might as well. Owners of toy dogs can't seem to ever put them down anyways. I just feel bad for the boy dogs.

I know I shouldn't. I know it isn't right. But you know, I really like this guy at times. I mean...just...just...look at him! Looking all sly. He is in the middle of being tried for war crimes and he makes statements like, "I think the U.S. will re-install me as president soon." That is excellent, and if this picture wasn't taken when he said it, I give major props to Matt Drudge for putting them together. Ah, they go so well togeather. I don't know what it is. Saddam's smile did nothing for me when he had a bare chin, but now... I guess it just goes to show you why men rule the world. It has nothing to do with physical strength, or any mental aptitude. I think it just comes down to facial hair. Everyone knows that a mustache makes the dictator. No one is going to mess with a man with a mustach. Hitler had one. Stalin had one. If they just would have switched to beards, the world might have been a better place. Who knows, if hillary could grow a beard like saddam, I would probably vote for her.

Ted Tired. Ted go home now.

Well, I am pretty much done, and the things that I don't have done...well...I'm just not gonna do right now. I have spent the last two days packing and moving most of my stuff to another dorm room one building over. Why would I do such a thing? Don't ask that question, stupid! The answer is obvious. I have spent two days moving all my stuff just so that I can move it back in three months. No one will be staying in my room while I am gone. They just want me out. Either way, I wouldn't care all that much if I didn't have chronic back problems that could flare up at any moment. To make matters worse, kicking up all this dust, and with whatever the heck is going on outside, I have had the worse alergy attack since the night shedu and crazymom met. I think I will shortly overdose on my meds again and lay down and reminice about that night. At least I will get the sleep I need. Oh yeah, The reason that I was posting was to tell ya'll I am coming home, and will be home for the whole summer, so dust off your your neil caps and rold's folds signs.

HASSELHOFF!

Cult Icon Hasselhoff You are Hasselhoff, the Cult Icon. You revel in your enigmatic and confusing popularity – moreso in the positive aspects of it than the confusing or unclear parts. You are the shining star of the world: more specifically, of Germany. Someday, you will be featured in a ticker-tape parade. Someday! Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

How They guessed the eggplant, I will never know

Your Birthdate: May 19

You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested. You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them. Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others. You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself. Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence Your weakness: Suspicion of others Your power color: Eggplant Your power symbol: Spade Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

By the way, It was yestereday you big jerks!

My Ted Asplode

There is something invigorating and all together terrible about the close of another semester. For instance, I wrote a five page sermon last night and today, "read" 500 pages between a couple of books, and wrote a 5 page paper on them. Oh yeah, I also learned about 100 or so Hebrew words this morning before I took my quiz. I hurt, In the Brain

Does this mean he is not working for 64 tacos anymore?

I love crazy pick up lines.

Hello, beautiful. Haven't seen you around before...and I would definitely remember. Aside from the Buffalo wings, you're the hottest thing in here. I noticed you're all alone. Mind if I sit down? Too late, I'm already on the stool. Anyway, I know you're dying for me to buy you a drink and show you my money clip, but before I do, let's chat a bit.

There, I said it.

I am sorry about that last post. It was really a box of dead kittens.

Why? I don't know

The Man

Long ago...and far away, Tiffin and Cat lady got married. We all know that part. But not every one knows what came before. I was best man, so I had to go pick up my tux at Woodland. Since I am Ted, and have to use every restroom that I come within 30 feet of, I decided to go use the restroom while I waited. While I was takin' care of buisness, the doors opened and some one entered the stall next to me. Soon I heard the distinct thunderous voice of and angry African-American Male. He kept on yelling "Stop playing wiht the door!" (his kids were repeatedly messing with the handicap button.) So while I am washing my hands, These two young boys start talking to me. They were being nice and just asking questions, so I just talked to them while I was combing my hair(Ah...Hair...The good old days) All of a sudden, the dad starts yelling from the stall again, "Stop talking to me, I'm trying to crap!" I decided to take my leave and went for the paper towels.
His kids replyed, "we're not talkin' to you."
Dad: "You're not? Who you talkin' to then?"
Kids: "The Man."
Dad: "What Man? What he look like?"
Kids: "White."
Dad: "Damit, I warned you about the man. Never talk to The Man! He opress you if he get a chance!"
The kids turned to me as I was leaving and said in a friendly voice: "Dady says we can't talk to you cause you the man."
There went my hope for the future.

It was so bad, I swear God must have thought Tiffen and Cat lady were eating with me

There is just something wrong with our caffeteria. Today I went in for dinner and there were tables set up with hot-pans keeping food warm. Usually this might be a good sign. Nope..not today. They decided all they could do was warm up the worst of the week so that they could devote the entire kitchen to preparing a stinkin wedding meal. So I ate some green beans and carots that I had dished up before I fully realiazed the full extent of the crappiness of the food. The sticking meat was all fat. Seriously. You could pull out the barbecue rost beef and it was a glissning white throught 90% of it. So I ate my vegies because I knew nothing good to come from bringing my tray to the kitchen when I was that upset. Of course I was right. Not only did they feed us the worst food possible, the best food possible was around the corner, where we usually get our food.
VISION BLURRING>>>>TEMPERATURE RISING>>>(breath, Ted. Breath.) That was close. Just thinking about it almost sent my computer out the window.
So I went to Jack in the box. I sat infront of the stupid drivethrough speaker for ten minutes. TEN MINUTES! I don't ask for much. I just want someone to say something when I am waiting at a drive through. Does it take much to tell me your running behind. Explain to me. I am willing to listen. Just don't leave me sitting there without even acknowleging me! I left and went to Taco bell. Sure they use that spanish talk and you can't understand anything, but at least they say Hi.

I am not sure....

I had a hard time sleeping after a night of doing a whole lot of nothing, so I thought I would try to read a little of Tiffin's literary adaptation of the Yrrhec and Dog game. I got tired and decided I better get to bed before 1:00. Some time later, I got up and finished the rest of the story(Good job by the way). Well, Now it is 2:37 in the morning, and I realize I need something. I guess I have noticed it for a while. I need more friends, blogging friends that is. Too often I find myself feeling all bored. Either, I am in too much pain to concentrait on my homework, or I am actually feeling good and the last thing I want to do is spend that precious normalness on schoolwork.
So I sit here. I check the Drudgereport for something new. I look on my science and religious sites. I check homestar. Look at all the blogs. I watch Bernie Mac.(I am really starting to love that show). Yet, I stand unfulfilled. I can finish looking through the headlines within a half and hour. If there is something new on the Blogs, I can get through that very quickly. Yet, inbetween the tv shows I watch, I keep checking the net. I need more friends. I need more Blogs to look at. I know this isn't adressing the real problem. I don't even know what the real problem is. All I know is that I so desperatly want to be entertained.

Revisited

Man, that one guy really let himself go

More

If I could chose a sidekick

I knew he was after me! He is like Scott Irin and shit!

Ted's creature-nemesis:

The Dreaded JACK BAUER

'What creature will become your nemesis?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Happy Easter

Dear Friends,

If you have known me for a while, you know that I am not the type of person to try and force my faith on you every time we meet. Yet, in fear of offending you and turning you away, I know that I did not share it enough. However you choose to take this today, I feel as if I must share this with you.

I write this to you today to share the joy that I have in Christ Jesus. Many of you know that I did not always hold to this. In many cases, I was the worst among us, and in many ways, I am sure I still am. I am not writing to condemn you. I am not telling you to be good, live better lives. I am not saying that you need a better past. You do not need to look the same as everyone or act the same. You just need to know. I want you to know that Christ Jesus died for you. So that you could be pure, so the past could be forgotten, so you might never have fear death. This is attested to by his fulfillment of over 300 prophecies concerning his life and death. This is attested to by twelve fishermen, from the middle of nowhere, who changed the world with the message of Christ. The evidence is there, but I am not here to try to convince you with intellectual argument, but merely tell you, He is risen. My Friends, may God bless you on this Easter day with the joy and knowledge of Christ Jesus



Isaiah 25
6 On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare
a feast of rich food for all peoples,
a banquet of aged wine—
the best of meats and the finest of wines.
7 On this mountain he will destroy
the shroud that enfolds all peoples,
the sheet that covers all nations;
8 he will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears
from all faces;
he will remove the disgrace of his people
from all the earth.
The LORD has spoken.
9 In that day they will say,
"Surely this is our God;
we trusted in him, and he saved us.
This is the LORD, we trusted in him;
let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation."

Big Goose, Little Pond

The other weekend when my dad and sister was in town, we went out for chinese after church. When we pulled in the parking lot, there were a couple of women standing in the middle of my path. They saw us comming and moved out of the way to reveal the goose that was out enjoying the sunny day. He just stood there, ankle deep in his own little pond. We came somewhat close to him, but he must have felt protected since he was "in the water." he never moved.

A big one

People in England have actually hired two snippers to take out a giant rabit that is eating their vegetables. I really do not have much to say on this. I just thought it was great.